Parish Priest Quips

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Parish Priest Quips

Here are imagined quips that were exchanged between these three church workers.

Left to Right: Maximus, MInimus, Middlemus 

Minimus to no one in particular:

I wonder if there will  ever be a pen that will write first time every time and never need ink?

If I have to enter the name of just one more Johan, I am going to scream.

The only written aspect of these Household Examination Records I like is the cross in the left margin which I get to draw when someone passes. I have to get a life, man.

When I attended that church records methods seminar last summer, I didn't understand the part about writing the parish of birth next to the birth date of everyone. Was that a suggestion or a requirement?

Let's see. In the birth day and month is it date over month, or month over date? I forget.

Maximus to no one in particular:

Heij, you two want to split a pizza?

When I attended seminary school in Rome, no one told me that if I was sent to Sweden there wouldn't be spaghetti every Thursday. Bummer.

This request for a sabbatical is necessitated by my need for sun. Sun. Sun. I feel like a snow ball kept in the shade most of the year.

Heij. It is getting cold in here. You two dig out those old volumes from the early 1700's. Put one in the fireplace every hour. No one but the bugs seem interested in them. No one will ever know what we did.

My ink is running low. I had better start using more abbreviations.

Sometimes I can't read my own handwriting. Fortunately no one else ever looks at these record books.

Maximus to Minimus and Middlemus:

I don't know about you two, but I am ready to take a break and order out. Youse in?

Can either of you two guys remember if the Svensson bunch are the ones that just moved here from Horeda or from Norra Sandjö?

Also, did they say Stina was born in 1797 or 1798? No matter. I'll correct the record in the next volume. I'm out of white out until Spring.

Minimus again:

In this letter to my mom I am asking her to send a pair of knee high wool socks. The winters here in Sweden are much more severe than in Italy where we lived before this assignment.

As I proof read this document I am not sure if there should be dots over the o or not. What do you guys say?

Just once I'd like to read a document written in blue or red ink.

Heij Middlemus, I noticed you skipped the birth parishes for the families on pages 222 through 246 in the Household Examination Records. What's with that?
Middlemus: I know where all these people are born so I don't need to write the places in. Since no one else ever looks at that volume, I do not think it ever will be a problem.

Too bad there isn't some sort of ink sponge that I could use to soak up some of this excess ink before it seeps through the paper and makes the words illegible on the other side.

Finally Maximus concluded:

You guys have to promise to protect these church records so when the folks from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints want to microfilm them in 300 years, the volumes will be in good condition. Got it?

Latin worked pretty well for use for hundreds of years. Now we are supposed to switch to Swedish. Well, just between you and me, I plan to continue to use Latin where ever I can get away with it. That'll teach them a lesson.

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